Pre-script: This post is a little bit dated. I began it shortly after the election, but put in on the shelf because I am a fantastic procrastinator. I thought now would be a good time to resurrect it, for reasons that will become clear very soon.

As you know, unless you are still in denial or in outer-space, we’ve just elected a new Prime Minister, and he’s from Calgary. Here are a bunch of recent (and some really old) pictures of our new PM. Now, despite this impressive collection of mug-shots, I am not a Harper-booster. I just googled him. Really.






















Now this is a series of photos of my good friend J. who is also from the West.













Even though I’ve only been once, and don’t remember too much, I love the West. I don’t think I’ve met a bad seed from that wonderful region of Canada. One of the reasons I love people from the West is because they are so damned cheerful and friendly and easy going. The same goes for people in the East – but that is another story. Having lived my whole life in Ontario (in Barrie, Sudbury, and Ottawa), I have become accustomed to our habit of being a bit cold, unconversational, and reserved. I rarely wave at other cars that let me cut in. I’ve never invited someone I’ve recently met over for Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t remember the last time I had a friendly chat with someone waiting in line with me at the video store. Apparently, outside of Ontario, these are regular occurrences. Of course, these do seem like fairly obvious things to do on a regular basis, but they have somehow escaped the collective consciousness of my central-Canadian brethren, and that is to our shame. So to me, and everyone like me, get on the ball.

But I digress.

I’m not one to lump everyone from the West together in a big heap, but it occurred to me that there was a curious similarity between J. and the PM’s pose. I’ll give you a hint – check out their thumbs. They are up! All of them! I’ve never met our new PM, and I’m sure that he doesn’t have his thumb up all the time, but if he’s giving the thumbs-up to people while he is being sworn in, he must be a regular thumber.

J has never had a picture taken of him without his thumb being featured prominently. I think it is an awesome trademark. Thumbers are a rare breed, and should be congratulated. They are like someone who can wear a mullet or converse high-tops, someone who can sing Billy Idol tunes or listen to Winger in their yellow mustang. Someone who has enough confidence to make himself the centre of the picture by flashing that big thumb. Obviously, when applied to our PM, this theory retains less water than Swiss cheese. In fact, the only reason I brought Harper into this is to postulate that there might be some connection to the West and the Thumb. And while that may be, I think more research is needed. Someone should write a paper on it, maybe.

Soon, there will be another thumber in this world. J. and W. are about to be parents, and while they’ve practiced and prepared with three cats and a dog, I’m sure that they are about to go the craziest adventure of their lives. J. is particularly excited, and I am excited for him. In a recent email, me told me that waiting for fatherhood was akin to waiting for Christmas. You know there’s something there, and you kinda know what it is, but you are sure that it will be a fantastic surprise.

Whatever the surprise is, I’m sure it will be worthy of a big thumbs up.

Congratulations, J & W.












D.

Posted by D. at Sunday, March 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

Quote du jour: "If he said the sky was blue and she said the sky was purple, then the sky was purple."

The above quote was stolen from an article about how ex-President Clinton now has to clear everything he does with his wife, who is gearing up for a run at the presidency in ’08. So what’s my angle here? Am I going to rant about whether or not the US is ready for a female prez? Am I going to go off on roles of husband and wife? Am I going to wonder out loud about why the hell the Clintons are still married after he publicly humiliated her (can you say “political sham marriage”, kids)? Alas, no. I’m going to talk about something much more boring. But you might learn something, so read on.

The quote was uttered by one of Hillary’s “handlers” – indicating that she has a small contingent of handlers responsible for making sure that she stays in line. Apparently, there are also “handlers” watching poor Bill on her behalf. This is the norm these days and sadly, I have a feeling that Brittany Spears has more “handlers” than both Bill and Hill combined. By the way, I don’t like the term “handlers”. It sounds like something someone on a ranch might do:

Jack: “Wha’d you do last fall, Ennis?”
Ennis: “Well, pardn’r, I worked for ol’ Jed’s ranch.”
Jack: “Really, Ennis? Wha’d you do at ol’ Jed’s ranch?”
Ennis: “I was a handler.”
Jack: “I reckon that musta been a good time, Ennis. D’you handle for Hillary, or Brittany?”
Ennis: “Neither. I handled for ol’Bessy, until she quit me. Now she’s in a better place.”
Jack: “You mean she…”
Ennis: “Uh-huh. She’s at ol’ man Jared’s farm, he’s got a mechanical milking machine and a whole team of handlers!”
--Cue Hee-Haw banjo music--

Now, I realize that this is just a silly quote meant to show that Hill is the boss, and what she says goes, but it is indicative of a much larger problem that people in the public eye have to face: the sky is not purple. Bill is right. And if Bill is right, why is everyone being told that the sky is indeed purple.

Maybe recent political events in Canada have made me unnecessarily nostalgic for a time when I was nowhere near existing, but I remember when politicians would speak their mind, and people would vote for the person whose mind most resembled theirs. Remember FDR’s fireside chats that helped people get through the depression and the start of WWII? Or Kennedy’s “ask not what your country can do for you…” address? Or even the drunken antics of Sir Johnny A. Mack? Neither do I and that is a problem.

By way of jogging the collective memory of my 2.5 readers, I suggest visiting the cbc.ca archives. Start with this one, but beware, it is six minutes long and it contains more information than two dozen thirty second sound clips.

What I love about it isn’t the content or the politics. I don’t know enough about the man (CBC miniseries aside) to say what a great PM he was, but imagine for one second having three very calm journalists walk up to Mr. Harper – or any recent PM for that matter - without any “handlers” nearby, and have a serious, challenging discussion about something of vital importance to the country, on Rideau Street in broad daylight, and then having that whole six minute exchange broadcast to the country thereby allowing us, as citizens, to make up our minds.

It’s about as hard to imagine as a purple sky.

D.

Posted by D. at Tuesday, March 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

So, everything about IMOK was a success, except for the part about posting all kinds of wonderful updates and stories about K and her astounding greatness as a person and my closest friend, but anyone who knows her understands that. There is one message about K and IMOK that I would like to clarify before I put the issue to rest.

Many have complemented me on being a “good boyfriend” and whatnot. Although I reject any such statements, I felt a bit like Apu when he made every wife in town hate their husband because of his Valentine’s Day antics. Keep in mind that Apu only did that because he screwed-up big time. He was making up for whatever it was that he did wrong (my Simpson’s trivia is a bit rusty…but was that the squishy lady episode?). While I wasn’t attempting to correct any specific wrongdoings by proceeding with IMOK, I wasn’t doing just for personal glory or to make any other boyfriends out there seem substandard.

What may people might not realize is that this silly little month of gifts (mostly just trinkets and scrapbook materials) is nothing when you compare it to the things that K does for me on a regular basis. She is making fudge right now – from scratch. Even if you discount her considerable culinary skills (the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – not directly though his chest cavity as some women might believe), she is everything you would want in a woman. Hell, she took me on a surprise trip to Amster-freaking-dam!

The point I am trying to make is that despite the apparent thoughtfulness and beauty of IMOK, I still have a lot of catching up before I become as great a partner as she is to me.

And on that note, I say a fond farewell to the month that was (half a month ago…).

D.

Posted by D. at Sunday, March 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments